Inertia (Dazed #2) Read online

  INERTIA

  DAZED SERIES | BOOK TWO

  C.M. RADCLIFF

  Copyright © 2022 by C.M. Radcliff

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to places, events, or real people are entirely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover Designer: Cassie Chapman, Opulent Swag and Designs

  Editor: Ellie McLove, My Brother’s Editor

  To everyone who’s mind is trying to kill them. Know that your mind is only as strong as you allow it to be. Don’t give it that power and never stop fighting. Allow your eyes to adjust to the darkness and then you will see that you’re not alone…

  you were never alone…

  CONTENTS

  WARNING

  Prologue

  1. Ainsley

  2. Killian

  3. Ainsley

  4. Killian

  5. Ainsley

  6. Killian

  7. Ainsley

  8. Killian

  9. Ainsley

  10. Killian

  11. Ainsley

  12. Killian

  13. Ainsley

  14. Killian

  15. Ainsley

  16. Killian

  17. Ainsley

  18. Killian

  19. Killian

  20. Ainsley

  21. Killian

  22. Ainsley

  23. Killian

  24. Ainsley

  25. Killian

  26. Ainsley

  27. Ainsley

  28. Killian

  COMING MAY 2022

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Also by C.M. Radcliff

  WARNING

  There are many situations and details in this book that may be triggering to some readers. It continues the main theme that is centered around substance abuse and addiction. The relationship in this story is also extremely toxic and entirely unhealthy.

  Addiction is a serious illness. If you, yourself, or anyone that you know of is struggling with addiction, please seek immediate attention. Please know that help is always available and there are many resources and people who want to help.

  You are worth it.

  SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357

  PROLOGUE

  KILLIAN

  Ezra’s eyes meet mine as I shove open the bathroom door. I stride toward him, his lips curling upward into a smirk. He knows why I’m coming for him right now and he’s a fucking fool for not turning around and running in the opposite direction. He turns his head, glancing at Ainsley who is passed out by the bathtub as he positions the needle along his arm.

  His mouth falls open, with who knows what type of a shitty comment, but I shut him up quickly as I drive my fist into the side of his jaw. I’m not here to talk to this piece of shit. We both know what he did, so I’m going to let my fists do the talking for me. That’s what I’m really here for. To make him regret so much as even breathing in Ainsley’s direction.

  She might be fucked up in the head, but that girl is fucking gold.

  And he just tarnished her fucking shine.

  “What the fuck,” he musters out, spitting a mouthful of blood onto the floor by my feet. “What the fuck is your problem?”

  Ezra doesn’t anticipate my movements as I drive my opposite fist into the other side of his face. His head quickly turns and he stumbles backward into the toilet, dropping his needle and tourniquet on the floor. His eyes roll back into his head momentarily before he shakes the fuzziness away and charges toward me. I dodge his fist as he comes at me, stepping to the side as he staggers past me.

  Spinning on my heel, I follow after him, shoving him onto the floor as he loses his footing.

  “You’re going to fucking regret this!” he seethes, yelling at me as I take the toe of my boot and drive it into the side of his ribs. Ezra screams, groaning loudly as he uses his hands to try to shield himself from the blows as I kick him a few more times.

  I can’t stop now. I’m too far gone and I’m ready to fucking kill this kid right now for what he did to Ainsley. A crowd grows outside of the doorway as I drop down onto my knees, straddling him. I pay them no mind, because all they are is background noise. All that matters right now is teaching this piece of shit a lesson and this is his last goddamn warning to stay away from Ainsley.

  Leaning up on my knees, I drive my fists into the sides of his face, switching from left to right as I continue to deliver blows, pummeling his fucking face. His eyes are already beginning to swell, his face covered in blood.

  “I fucking warned you, Ezra,” I seethe, growling at him as my hands grip the sides of his head. “I told you to stay the fuck away from her and you royally fucked up now. It’s time for you to pay.”

  Pulling his head upward, his swollen eyes widen as much as they can as a garbled sound comes from his mouth. It pisses me off even more. He doesn’t get to fucking talk now. He should have thought about all of this before giving Ainsley smack.

  The tips of my fingers dig into the sides and back of his head. Just as I’m about to slam the back of his skull onto the floor, four pairs of hands wrap themselves around my arms and tear me off of him. I’m hauled to my feet and quickly shuffled backward, putting as much distance between me and Ezra.

  My chest heaves with every shallow breath as my heart pounds erratically in my chest. Courtland steps in front of me, shoving me in my chest. “Go,” he barks at me. “Some asshole already called the cops.”

  My eyes widen, glancing between Courtland and Ezra. I expected him to be knocked out, but his eye that isn’t swollen shut meets mine as Arlo helps him to sit up. “When did you get here?” I look back at Court.

  “Obviously not soon enough.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Just go. Amethyst and I got this. The last thing we need is for you to get fucking arrested.”

  They can’t arrest me if they can’t find me.

  I glance over at Ainsley, slumped against the side of the toilet. “I’m not leaving her.”

  “Killian,” Courtland growls as Amethyst steps beside him, her hand falling onto his shoulder. “You need to go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere without her.”

  Courtland lets out an exasperated sigh. “Dude, I told you that we got this—”

  “Take her and go,” Amethyst interjects lightly, ignoring Courtland’s glare as he bores a hole into the side of her face. “Be quick and quiet.”

  I nod, silently thanking her as I turn my back to them. I move across the small space to Ainsley’s crumpled form on the floor. She feels light—too light—as I lift her into my arms and cradle her like a small child. Her head rolls in the crook of my elbow as I tuck my other arm under her knees, holding her tightly against my chest.

  I carry her effortlessly from the bathroom, pausing in the doorway as I glance back at the mess that I’ve made. Courtland and Amethyst are on damage control, but I know that they won’t stay long enough for the cops to get here.

  They’ll only stay long enough to try and clean up my fucking mess and hopefully get Ezra to keep his goddamn mouth shut.

  My eyes find his bloodied body on the floor. I swallow roughly, feeling my chest constrict.

  “Killian!” Courtland’s voice is loud and I lift my eyes to his. “You gotta go.”

  Nodding, I hold Ainsley as close as I can, feeling her chest rising and falling with every shallow breath that her body can muster. The blood on my hands stains her clothes. I turn away from them, ducking out of the room as I push through the crowd of
people gathered around.

  What the fuck have I done?

  ONE

  AINSLEY

  “Baby, wake up.”

  Killian’s voice floats in the darkness, soft and warm like velvet running over my skin. My head swims, my mind in the clouds as my lips slowly curl upward in a lazy smile. The sound is like a melody that he sings just for me.

  I could listen to the sound of his voice until I die.

  “Ainsley, baby.” His voice shifts. It breaks as it laces with panic. My body shakes involuntarily and the smile falls from my lips. “I need you to wake up.”

  I don’t want to wake up. I want to stay right here, in the darkness, wrapped up in his warmth.

  I shake my head in protest, but I don’t know that it actually moves. None of this feels real. I can’t fully grasp the concept of time right now, but I feel like I’m living in the midst of a fucked-up, bad trip instead of just high from shooting dope.

  “Ainsley!” Killian’s voice echoes through the darkness, bouncing from the corners of my mind. “Wake up, baby, please.”

  The urgency, the way he pleads, I know that I have to wake up. My eyelids stick as I slowly peel them open, feeling my lungs expand as I finally take a full breath. I’m in his arms, situated next to him with his body pressed against mine. It wasn’t a dream. Killian’s really here.

  His bright green eyes meet mine as he hovers over me. My vision is blurry at first, but everything comes into focus as I stare back at him. His brow furrows as his eyes desperately search mine and runs an exasperated hand down his face.

  My eyes narrow as I watch his hand.

  Swollen, bruised, and covered in blood.

  “What happened to you?” I eye him skeptically, knowing if my instincts were logical, I should move away from him. Instead I stay in his arms, reaching out for him. “Are you hurt?”

  Killian shakes his head. “That’s not my blood.”

  “Whose is it?” I take his hand in mine, swiping my hand across the dried blood. It’s still fresh, but not fresh enough to be wet. I glance around the room, feeling the confusion as I notice that we’re at home and on my bed. The events that led up to this hit me like a ton of bricks.

  Graduation, the party, Killian with Amethyst. All of it led to me going into the bathroom with Ezra. The last thing that I remember was Ezra sliding the needle under my skin and injecting the heroin into my bloodstream.

  Killian’s emerald eyes burn holes into mine. “Ezra’s.”

  No, no, no.

  Dread fills the pit of my stomach as I tear my eyes away from his. Killian didn’t like Ezra from the start, but he has no idea who he is fucking with. Ezra’s family practically owns more than half of this town and they have the right people in their pockets. They will ruin Killian’s life for this.

  “Killian. What did you do?” My voice is soft as I wrap the plush hand towel back around his battered knuckles. “Ezra didn’t press charges the last time. His family won’t let you get away with this.”

  Killian’s jaw clenches. “I found you in the bathroom with him. I know that he helped you shoot up.”

  My heart pounds harder, the sound of my blood rushing through my head fills my ears. As if things weren’t already bad, they just got fucking worse. How the hell could he possibly know? My eyes bounce back and forth between his, searching them for I don’t know what. Approval? Sympathy? Salvation? I really wanted to tell him myself, but I think that he already knew from the moment he found me.

  “Did you know that it was dope before you did it the first time?”

  I swallow roughly. “I thought it was coke.”

  Killian’s nostrils flare and he nods. “I don’t regret what I did.”

  Neither do I.

  Killian sits us upright as he wraps his fingers around the back of my neck. He cups my chin with his other hand, tipping my head back to look at him. “I can’t stay here.” His green irises pierce mine. “This place is going to be crawling with cops soon and I can’t be here when they show up.”

  I slide my hands up his arms, wrapping them around his ink-stained wrists. “I’m coming with you, Kill.”

  His eyes narrow. “Absolutely not.”

  “Give me one good reason why not.” I squeeze his wrists as I stare up at him expectantly. There is no way in hell he’s leaving me behind here. I won’t stand by and he knows it.

  “Because it’s not safe for anyone where I’m going.” Killian pauses, slowly stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “You’re safer here at home.”

  “Fuck you,” I growl at him. I’m not safe anywhere, not with this blossoming need inside of me. I’ve known life before Killian, and I don’t want to go back there again. “You know that this place isn’t a home. Plus, it’s only a matter of time before Ezra starts coming around again. And if not him, I’m sure it won’t be hard to get shit from someone else.”

  “You’re really gonna do me like that?” Killian glares at me, tightening his grip around the back of my neck as his lips slowly curl upward into a sinister smirk. His thumb is still gentle, stroking my cheek as he stares down at me like he wants to cut off my air supply. “Nice try, baby girl. I like when you try to manipulate me, but don’t you dare try and back me into a fucking corner again.”

  I stand my ground, running my hands down his arms until I reach his torso. “You’re not leaving me behind.”

  “Fine.” Killian’s face doesn’t soften, but his hands abandon my head and he wraps one around my own, threading our fingers together. “But the second that shit goes south, you’re coming back here.”

  Killian climbs off the bed, pulling me onto my feet with him. My body sways, still feeling high as shit. I glance around my room, my eyes following Killian as he strides toward the door. It’s a fucking mess, just like my mind and my body.

  “Pack whatever shit you need.” He pulls open the door, heading back through it as he marches across the hall to his room. “You have two minutes, and then we’re leaving.”

  I watch as he disappears into his room to pack his bags. Wasting no time, I pull a bag out from under my bed and begin to shove clothes in it. I have no idea where we are going or how long we will be gone, but none of that matters. All that matters is us. We can’t be together under this roof, but anywhere else, we can be whoever and whatever we want to be.

  We can finally be free.

  TWO

  KILLIAN

  The Bentley switches gears, effortlessly floating down the freeway as I switch lanes. Taking her car was a bad fucking choice, but it was our only option to get out of there. I would imagine that the cops are probably at the Sinclair’s house by now and Ainsley’s parents will soon realize that neither of us are anywhere to be found. The cops aren’t actively following us, but I can’t slow down now.

  I take the next exit that brings us into the city, back to familiar territory. I glance over at Ainsley as she adjusts in her seat. Her high was evident back at the house, but it’s been dissipating quickly. Her withdrawal is kicking in and it’s only getting worse as time passes. Sweat drips from her hairline and she clutches her stomach in what I can only imagine is another wave of nausea.

  This is the worst environment for someone to try and come down from heroin, but I don’t know where else we can go. Nothing about this situation that I got us into is ideal. I should regret what I did to Ezra, but I don’t. What I regret is dragging Ainsley into this whole mess. She doesn’t belong with me, but I couldn’t leave her.

  We drive into the worst part of the city, which is no doubt a terrible decision, especially with this damn car sticking out like a sore fucking thumb. I wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up getting jacked. We pull up in front of the apartment building just as Ainsley’s face begins to pale. Her eyes widen and start to water as she clamps her hand over her mouth. I quickly jump out of the car, rushing around to her side, just in time to fling the door open for her.

  Ainsley leans out through the door, violently dry heaving as her body att
empts to rid itself of the toxins in her body. Her stomach is empty, so nothing comes out except for stomach acid. I hold her hair back from her face, my heart breaking as I watch her in excruciating pain.

  She finishes, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before peering up at me with tears streaming down the sides of her face. I glance up at the abandoned looking building, feeling dread in the pit of my stomach before helping her out of the car.

  “Let’s get you inside, baby.”

  I don’t know if anyone even lives here still, but it’s at least somewhere that we can crash for a few days until I figure out what the fuck we are doing. Ainsley leans against the side of the car as I reach into the back seat and grab our bags. I press the button on the key fob and lock the doors before leading her up the cracked concrete walkway to the apartment building.

  “Where are we?” Ainsley asks quietly as I push open the broken front door and step inside. Inside the foyer, there is a line of doors for the bottom-floor apartments. The paint on the walls is peeling and the ceiling is cracked above from years worth of water damage and a slumlord who owns the building.

  I guide her up the flight of stairs that lead to the other apartments. “Where I used to live.”