Opium Skies (In Vein Series Book 1) Read online

  OPIUM SKIES

  IN VEIN SERIES #1

  C.M. RADCLIFF

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Note from the author:

  COMING JANUARY 2021

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Also by C.M. RADCLIFF

  Copyright © 2020 by C.M. Radcliff

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover Designer: Opulent Swag and Designs

  Editor: Ellie McLove from My Brother’s Editor

  “We was young and we was dumb, but we had heart.

  In the dark, will we survive through the bad parts?”

  2Pac, Runnin’ (Dying to live)

  Prologue

  One day there will be that one person who comes out of nowhere when you least expect it and shakes up your entire world. Within an instant, you know who they are; they are the one that was made for you. No words need to be spoken because you can feel it within the depths of your soul, within every fiber of your being. Your eyes meet and a fire instantly ignites inside you, fiercer than you have ever known. It’s a connection that you’ll only feel once and with whom is beyond your control.

  The undeniable force will take over everything and it will either build a love stronger than titanium or one that is more fragile than crystal, leaving you shattered in the end.

  And here I am, nothing but a mess of broken shards of glass scattered across the floor.

  He was the last thing and everything that I ever needed. Like an uncontrollable whirlwind, he tore through every aspect of my life, stripping me bare of everything I ever had. And for some sick, fucked-up reason—through the ups and the downs—I loved every minute of it.

  Every fucking minute, except for one.

  The very last minute that finally took him from me.

  1

  HADLEY

  Moving to the side, I step away from the car, giving my dad space to slide the last box into my trunk. My thick hair sticks to the back of my neck from the dry Arizona heat. As I bend forward, my dark brown locks almost touch the ground as I collect it within my hands and pull it into a ponytail. Standing back upright, I smooth the top of my head and tighten the hair tie. I find my dad watching me with wet eyes, standing still with his hands at his sides. I cock my head to the side and give him a small smile. His chin quivers when he tries to smile back and roughly runs a frustrated hand over his buzzed hair.

  It was the end of August, which meant it was time to move into my dorm. I am going to nursing school at Arizona State University, but it’s the first time I’ll be away from home and everything that I’m familiar with. He opens the front door of my Nissan Maxima as I climb inside and start the ignition. I put down the window as he slowly pushes the door closed and bends down.

  “Your mom would be so proud, Hadley,” my dad says, smiling, his eyes grow glossy. It’s been two years since we lost her and life hadn’t been the same since then. He clears his throat and smacks his hand on the car a few times as he stands up. “I’m sorry I have to work and can’t be there to help you move in. Let me know you got there safe, okay?”

  A look of deep-seated guilt washes over his face and hits me hard in the chest. He tried so hard to get today off so he could properly see me off to school and help me get situated there. After we lost Mom, our lives changed forever. He has had to work overtime just to make ends meet for us. Because of him always being gone, we grew apart. His little girl grew up and he wasn’t even around to see. I had wanted him to be more present and to be with me today, but I’m not surprised that he can’t make the time.

  “Hey.” My dad’s face comes back into focus and the guilt has been replaced with worry. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, of course,” I tell him, trying to conceal the strain in my voice as I put the car in reverse. He looks at me quizzically. “I promise to let you know as soon as I’m there. Love you, Dad,” I say out the window as he backs away and the car slowly creeps toward the street.

  “Drive safe, Hadley.” He waves. “Love you too!”

  After reaching the road, I put the car in drive and start to drive away from the house. He keeps waving as he walks over to his cop car, getting ready to start his shift. I divert my eyes between the rearview mirror and the road until I can’t see my dad or our house anymore.

  This is real now.

  I am officially on my own and on my way to college.

  Holy shit.

  I lean over the center console, feeling around for my purse. I find it and blindly dig around inside until I hear a familiar rattling sound. I pull out the bottle of pills and instantly feel a sense of relief, knowing how I’m going to feel after I pop some. As I pull up to the next red light, I twist off the lid of the bottle, revealing the blue football-shaped, chalky pieces of heaven. I shake a few into my hand and slam them back with a bottle of water, letting the bitter taste fill my mouth and throat. Most people hate it. I love it. It’s like the taste is a precursor for what’s to come when the pills start to kick in. And for this drive and move, I need them to kick the fuck in.

  I turn up the volume in my car and let Biggie’s voice pour from the speakers. I tap along to the beat and rap like I just signed a record deal and feel the Xanax slowly creep into my bloodstream. A subtle warmth spreads throughout my body as my muscles relax in a single wave. My mind grows hazy and my lips curl upward in a lazy grin.

  Reaching into my center console, I pull out a pack of Newports and light one up. I don’t smoke often, but I keep a pack for when I need a little pick-me-up. There may or may not be a gangster version of me in a parallel universe; the jury’s still out on that one. The smoke fills my lungs and the nicotine intertwines with the benzo floating in my veins and all is right in this universe.

  I’m on my own and on my way to college.

  And this shit is gonna be cake.

  2

  HADLEY

  It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes I truly amaze myself. I’m not fucked up right now, but I’m definitely feeling pretty good. I couldn’t tell you how I got here, but here I am, alive and well with all limbs intact. There’s that song by that one chick from American Idol about Jesus taking the wheel. I let Biggie take the wheel, who’s pretty much hood Jesus, so I concur that her theory is pretty solid.

  I pull into the crowded parking lot at ASU bumping “The Ten Crack Commandments” hard, not giving a damn. I
get some pretty strange looks, but hey, I got no shame in my game. With all the commotion going on, any attention directed my way is gone by the time I shut off my car. I straighten my shirt and readjust my shorts as I climb out of the car. Deciding against getting all my stuff, I grab my purse and one box and duffel bag from my trunk. I didn’t bring much with me, but it will be easier to carry in later tonight.

  Somehow, I successfully navigate my way through the crowds of students and through the stairwells and hallways. I’m going to have to figure out later how the hell to get in and out of here. Behind the door in front of me is the room I’ll be spending the next year in, with someone I’ve never met before. I know her name, Abigail Turner, but that’s about it and that gives me little to go off of. For all I know she could be a super nerd with a chastity belt, not that I’m judging or anything.

  I readjust my belongings, take a deep breath and let myself into the room, praying my roommate’s not a bitch. I push open the door and spin to kick it shut.

  “Do you not know how to knock?”

  Jackpot. She’s a gem.

  Just kidding; she’s a vile creature.

  I turn around toward the harsh voice and find myself staring at the back of my roommate’s head. Her blue-tinged black hair is in a sleek, straight bob. Her clothes are as dark as her hair and when she spins around her makeup follows suit. “Please tell me you’re not a fucking mute or something?” She stares at me. “Goddammit, you’re deaf,” she says in disbelief.

  “You know people can read lips and body language, right?” I ask her, neither denying nor confirming my being deaf.

  She stares and narrows her eyes before turning toward her bed. “Her being deaf could make things a lot easier,” she mumbles to herself.

  “Well then, it’s a damn shame I’m not deaf,” I deadpan. She spins back around, pinning her eyes on mine, speechless. I turn my back to her and set my things on my bed. She’s huffing and puffing and moving in a rush to get out the door. “Oh, hey,” I say as she’s halfway out of the room. She pauses and slightly cocks her head to the side toward me. “This is my room too. Don’t ever expect me to knock on my own door, Abby,” I warn her in an icy tone.

  She straightens herself and marches out. “Bitch,” she mutters as the door slams behind her.

  Nice to meet you too, Abigail Turner.

  Shoving everything off the bed, I sprawl out on it and close my eyes. This is going to be a long night. I have the rest of the things I need out of my car and I need a plan. A plan to spend the least amount of time possible in this room with that chick. I’m trying out this new thing of avoiding confrontation and she is a walking, talking altercation waiting to happen. I shake the thoughts from my mind and stretch out my arms and legs. None of that matters right now; I’ll get to it all later. The only thing I’m concerned with is how good this bed feels and how heavy my eyes are. Sleep finds me in a matter of minutes.

  Wisps of pink and purple hues kiss the horizon with the setting sun across the valley. A light breeze carries the dry heat, kicking the dirt into the air creating swirls like floating ashes until the dust settles and the particles fall to the desert floor. My eyes travel from the sunset in the distance to the black hole underneath the cliff I’m standing on. It’s a long way down. One wrong move and I’d be free-falling, plunging deep into the unknown. I curl my bare toes, gripping on to the edge of the sharp rocks. A gust of wind sweeps strands of hair across my face and my dress billows around my ankles.

  “You always were one to play with fire.” I spin around to my mother’s soft voice behind me. I stare at her in disbelief, slowly taking her in. She’s wearing the same pale green dress that I found her in. Her makeup is light, highlighting her hazel eyes, and her light brown hair is pulled over her shoulder in a loose braid. She smiles softly, her gaze penetrating mine. “The Lion King was your favorite; always saying how you laugh in the face of danger” —her brows furrow and her smile falls— “just because there isn’t any danger, that doesn’t mean you still can’t laugh.”

  I stare back at her, my mouth slightly falling open, still unable to process what the hell is going on. I glance around quickly, noting that my surroundings still haven’t changed. None of this can be real. Right?

  “How are you even here right now?” My voice squeaks.

  “I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want me to be,” she says, not missing a beat.

  She’s wrong. I don’t want her here. She’s gone; she left us. She knew it, and she could have prevented it. I simply shake my head at her.

  “Do you plan on jumping?” She motions toward the cliff. I continue to stare at her. “Your father…” She pauses. “You know he’ll be fine, right? He’s a strong man with an even stronger daughter.”

  I wince when she speaks of my father. He’s a strong man; but a broken one at that. “Does it matter if I was going to jump or not?”

  “It’s okay to jump, to take the plunge. You have your whole life ahead of you. Stop letting your mind weigh you down. Jump, fall, be free.” She smiles at me. “If you jump, you’ll have to feel. And to be free, you need to feel it all.”

  I shake my head at her. I’m afraid to feel, because what if I forget?

  “You’ll never forget, because I’ll always be right here,” she answers my thoughts, placing her hand over my heart. “I know why I’m here now; what you need me to do.”

  I search her face, looking for a meaning behind her words. Finally my eyes land on hers and they shine brightly, looking right through me. She lifts up her other hand and places it on the other side of my chest. “You’re not going to jump. You need that final push…” She pauses. “From me.”

  I say nothing, afraid to make a sound. I’m too lost in the moment, too confused to form a coherent response.

  “I love you, Hadley.” My mother beams at me. “Don’t just laugh in the face of danger; laugh in the face of life.”

  I catch one last glimpse of her face and feel her hands leave my chest, and suddenly I’m staring up at the darkening sky. My body falls swiftly through the air and plunges into the darkness.

  I hit the ground hard, with a loud thud. I peel my eyelids open and let my eyes adjust to the light. Somehow, I’ve ended up somewhere on the floor. I push myself up into a half-sitting position and glance around, taking everything in and trying to make sense of it. There are two of everything; two beds, two nightstands, two dressers, two closets. Realization hits; my dorm room. My mind plays over the day, trying to piece things together. Feeling around on the floor, I find my phone and turn on the screen. Jesus Christ, it’s almost eight o’clock. I pull myself up off the floor and straighten my clothes before grabbing my car keys. Time to find my way out of here and get the rest of my shit. I’m here and gonna do this, so let’s fucking do it.

  3

  HADLEY

  Well, talk about starting off my first night at college on the right foot. The night was uneventful and fuzzy to say the least, so I know it wasn’t too exciting. After I woke up on the floor and figured out where the fuck I was, I got the rest of my shit and somehow mustered up the energy to unpack and organize. I had just barely finished when I crashed and then had the pleasure of being woken up at God knows what time to my lovely roommate. I’ve decided that she’s either a stripper, a whore or both; but who am I to judge? All I know, is you don’t go trotting around in that pathetic excuse for clothing she had on and come home in the middle of the night smelling like perfume, cologne, smoke, alcohol, and I gave up trying to figure out the other smells without being somehow involved in the sex industry.

  Whether Abby is a hooker or a stripper, as long as it isn’t affecting my life, I couldn’t care less what she does with her body.

  When I finally roll out of my tiny-ass bed for the day, I’m greeted by Abby snoring like a hibernating bear. She’s buried so deeply under her covers that I’m slightly concerned for her health. I would hate for her to smother under there and die; I could end up with another roommate even wor
se than her. I try to carefully make a small opening for her to get some air under the blankets, but they’re wrapped so tightly and trapped underneath her, I can’t move them at all. I take a step back and stare at her, trying to see if there’s anything else to do. I shrug, taking my chances and hoping for the best.

  Grabbing my clothes and shower caddy, I set off to the bathroom to freshen up for the day. I shower quickly and it doesn’t take me long to get out the door. I forgo any makeup and throw my wet hair into a messy bun. It probably isn’t my best look, but paired with a black crop top, white shorts, and tan sandals, I don’t look half bad. I drop my things off at my room on my way out and let out a sigh when I hear Abby snoring from somewhere within her blankets. At least I won’t have to watch her go out in a body bag tonight.

  It isn’t a far walk to any of the small shops in town. The air is dry and the sun beats down, creating a blazing heat. I silently thank myself for my “I don’t give a shit” outfit today, even though I’m bound to break out into a sweat within a second.